Beyond the Box Scores

The Alphabet: Inspired by Sport

By: Alex Risen
By: Alex Risen

The Letter "F"...for Fourth of July...and baseball abounding!

Fantasy Draft: (Major League Baseball Mascots)!

  • Atlanta Braves - Homer and Rally (baseball...get it?)
  • Boston Red Sox - Wally the Green Monster (because of the big green wall people call the "monster")
  •  Chicago White Sox - Southpaw - (I got nothin')
  • Florida Marlins - Billy the Marlin (seriously...that's what the marketing department came up with)
  • Kansas City Royals - Sluggerrr (nope...not a mistake...i didn't fall asleep and hit the "R" 3 times...again...the marketing department needs some serious work...Sluggerrr? Lion or not...that thing looks and sounds ridiculous!)
  • Philadelphia Phillies - Phillie Phanatic  (goofiest looking thing ever...big props to the guys who came up with this one!)
  • San Francisco Giants -  Lou Seal - (HILARIOUS!)
  • Minnesota Twins - T.C. Bear - (Twin Cities...see what they did there?)
  • Tampa Bay Rays - Raymond  (Everybody loves him...yep that just happened)
  • Seattle Mariners - Mariner Moose  (Look at him pop this wheelie...rebel without a cause!)
  • FUN NOTE...Cubs, Angels, Dodgers and Yankees do not have official mascots...we all learned something today! (you'd think the Cubs would make it a bear...which they have...but he's always LOST (because they never WIN))...(Angels would be easy too...Danny Glover or the kid from the "Angels in the Outfield" movie...Yankees could just be a money clip or wallet!)

FOOTBALL BUSTS:

  • WORLD FOOTBALL LEAGUE (WFL) Original Teams of the two-season league that thought it could compete with the NFL much as the AFL had...
  • EASTERN DIVISION:
  • Florida Blazers
  • Jacksonville Sharks  (bankrupt after just 14 games...relaunched as the "Express" the following season)
  • NY Stars (Moved to Charlotte, NC after 3 months due to poor attendance and changed the mascot to the Hornets...guess the stars weren't too bright at night!)
  • Philadelphia Bell  (the Bell? Too funny!)
  • CENTRAL DIVISION:
  • Birmingham Americans
  • Chicago Fire (not a good nickname)
  • Detroit Wheels  (14-game bankrupters as well)
  • Memphis Southmen
  • WESTERN DIVISION:
  • Hawaiians  (just didn't even try to make it a full team name...probs why the league went under...where's the effort guys!)
  • Houston Texans (moved to Shreveport because Astrodome rent was too high...changed name to Steamer)
  • Portland Storm
  • South California Sun (as opposed to the North California Sun...very unique...)

 

  • UNITED STATES FOOTBALL LEAGUE (USFL) the league had money problems from day one...owners like Donald Trump (Generals) ignored payroll restrictions and drove salaries for certain players through the roof...for in-depth look at the league, check out ESPN's "30 for 30" on it...great stuff and very well done
  • Boston Breakers
  • New Jersey Generals

  • Philadelphia Stars
  • Washington Federals (nice!)

  • Birmingham Stallions
  • Chicago Blitz (I hate when teams do this...why the z?)
  • Michigan Panthers (are there really panthers there?)

  • Tampa Bay Bandits

  • Arizona Wranglers (where's Brett Favre?)

  • Denver Gold (poetic and true)
  • Los Angeles Express
  • Oakland Invaders (always so angry in Oakland...Raiders history is also great...another ESPN "30 for 30" on them...check it out!)

So as the Fourth of July winds down...remember that "F" also stands for Freedom...something I try and remind myself of often, because it allows me to do what I love and never feel like work. I hope you enjoyed your day off (for those who had it) and cherished the time with friends and family...but remember, at some point during your day, every day, to think of those who don't have freedom to do what they love.  Strive to make their days just a little better with at least a smile...somenone told me they were contagious and I think happiness is the best of all freedoms...because you control your spirit.  Offering a glimpse of optimism to someone who is down can be so uplifting....Happy Fourth everyone.

email me at alex.risen@wymtnews.com

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