And She Never Had Dreams, So They Never Came True

By: Don McNay
By: Don McNay

As a structured settlement consultant, I go to mediations and settlement conferences with people who anticipate receiving large sums of money. I ask every person the same question.

"And she never had dreams, so they never came true"
-J. Giles Band
As a structured settlement consultant,   I go to mediations and settlement conferences with people who anticipate receiving large sums of money.
I ask every person the same question.
"Forget about what is going on today.    If you won the lottery, what would you spend the money on?"
The initial answers are usually vague, like "invest" or "put money in the bank."  
Then, I tell them that when I become a billionaire, I am going to buy the Cincinnati Reds.
When I tell them about my lifelong desire to own the Reds, they start talking about the things that interest them.
From a planning standpoint, the lottery question is a great one.   Everyone has dreams and desires but usually keep them hidden, back in the recesses of their minds.   The lottery question gets those dreams and desires out in the open, on the front burner.
Some of them have expensive aspirations (owning a NASCAR team comes up frequently).  But, usually, they want things like sending their children to a nice college, buying a particular piece of property or helping their church.
Once we start the conversation, the list gets longer and longer.
My goal is to get people to think long-term.  They need to clear their thinking of the rat race of every day life.
The lottery question makes that happen.
You don't find many Americans who really think long-term.  Many people go through life never developing real goals or good habits.
We need a lottery question to help guide the people in Washington and Wall Street. 
Those of us on Main Street need it, too.
Someone once said that American business people think quarter to quarter, Japanese business people think decade to decade and Chinese business people think century to century.
We've watched short-term myopia destroy Wall Street.  We need to take a lesson from our friends in the Far East.
I've been asking the lottery question for more than a decade.  I might have gotten the basis for the idea from the Toronto-based strategic coach, Dan Sullivan.
Sullivan has influenced me greatly.  So many of his teachings are internalized in my thinking that sometimes his ideas and my ideas get intertwined in my head.
In preparation for an interview of Sullivan I'm going to conduct this fall, his staff sent me a copy of his latest book, The Dan Sullivan Question:  Ask It and Transform Anyone's Future. 
The Dan Sullivan question is this:
 "If we were having this discussion three years from today, and you were looking back over those three years, what has to happen in your life, personally and professionally, for you to feel happy with your progress?"
It's similar to the lottery question since it gets people to project where they want to go and who they want to be.  Sullivan's book explains how the concept can be used by everyone in all kinds of situations. 
He said that you want to be around people who have a dream and you want to stay away from those who don't.
My father always said, "If you tell me who your friends are, I'll tell you who you are."  Sullivan takes that thinking to another level.
You want to be hanging out with dreamers.  And you want to be a dreamer yourself.
Long ago a college friend introduced me to the J Giles song, "Angel in Blue," and its sad lyric struck me even then.  My friend was a person who never seemed to have any dreams or goals.  I've always had bunches of them and I couldn't understand a person who didn't.
I've never had a person not answer the lottery question.  I think everyone has some kind of dream or goal, but it gets buried by the overwhelming burdens of everyday life.
Maybe that is why the lottery question is so effective.  It takes people away the realities of their current situations and puts them in fantasy world, where they can start clean. 
I don't play the lottery.  But I can see why so many do.  They want an easy way to make dreams realities. 
I would prefer to earn my money through hard work and ingenuity.  But if a one dollar ticket allows me to purchase the Reds, I am going for it.
If people take the time to ask themselves both the lottery question and the Dan Sullivan question, it will allow them to focus on their goals and objectives.
Once they get focused on their dreams, they may actually come true.
When I take over the Reds, I will cut you a deal on some season tickets.
Don McNay, CLU, ChFC, MSFS, CSSC is one of the world's leading authorities in helping injured people and lottery winners deal with complex financial issues.
McNay is also an award winning syndicated financial columnist.
McNay founded McNay Settlement Group, a structured settlement and financial consulting firm, in 1983. The company's primary office is in Richmond, Kentucky.  
McNay has Master's Degrees from Vanderbilt and the American College and is in the Eastern Kentucky University Hall of Distinguished Alumni.  
McNay has written two books.  Most recent is Son of a Son of a Gambler: Winners, Losers and What to Do When You Win The Lottery
 You can write to Don at or read his column at
You can reach him on Facebook at and on Twitter at
McNay is a lifetime member of the Million Dollar Round Table and has four professional designations in the financial services field.

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