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By: Jeff Ford
By: Jeff Ford

Previewing the Good, Bad and Ugly of Lincoln, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2 and The Sessions

 

What’s this recent fascination with our former president battling against vampires? Earlier this year, Lincoln ran a stake through the blood suckers in Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter and now he’s battling Stephanie Meyer’s creations at the box office. Unlike last time, I think the Vamps have the slight advantage in this battle.
 
But let’s not dwell on the present. For now, we’ll journey back 150 years to watch a fellow Kentuckian fight for the soul of a nation.
 
 
As the Civil War continues to rage, America's president struggles with continuing carnage on the battlefield and as he fights with many inside his own cabinet on the decision to emancipate the slaves.
 
The Good – Daniel Day Lewis (Frost in May) is one of the finest actors working today. Steven Spielberg (Duel) is one of the greatest directors of all time. Abraham Lincoln is considered one of the greatest President’s in this nation’s short history. The pedigree behind this production is phenomenal. Lincoln is already being reviewed well, sitting at 91% with just a little under 100 reviews on Rotten Tomatoes. This film is sure to be the front runner for the Oscars come February 24.
 
The Bad – It’s a shame that this film is being released against the behemoth that is the final film in the Twilight Saga. While the official release date will state last week (it was limited to only the major cities), I feel it was a major miscalculation to open nationwide against the Cullens. As the studios wisely backed away from Skyfall last week, Lincoln should have done the same this week.
 
The Ugly – Illinois should have no claim on Lincoln. He’s a Kentuckian, dag nab it!
 
Lincoln is rated PG-13 for an intense scene of war violence, some images of carnage and brief strong language.
 
 
After the birth of Renesmee, the Cullens gather other vampire clans in order to protect the child from a false allegation that puts the family in front of the Volturi.
 
The Good – For me, the good is I’ve never seen the movies or read the books, and I don’t particularly care to either. Bella’s constant whining and non facial expressions from the trailers were enough to keep me away.
 
The Bad – Since I’ve not seen the movies, I feel it’s not my place to comment on the series as a whole. I will say this. Vampires do NOT sparkle in the sunlight. They burn to a crisp. 
 
The Ugly – The closest I’ve come to reading about the series is the article on Cracked.com. It gave a brief plot synopsis of all the books, in the usual Cracked way.
 
The Ugly: Part 2 – As a side note, why is it ok for middle aged women to fawn over a shirtless teenage boy yet it’s considered extremely creepy when a middle aged man fawns over a teenage girl? In both instances, it should illicit the same extreme level of creepiness.
 
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2 is rated PG-13 for sequences of violence including disturbing images, some sensuality and partial nudity.
 
 
A man in an iron lung who wishes to lose his virginity contacts a professional sex surrogate with the help of his therapist and priest.
 
The Good – The Sessions won the Audience Award at this year’s Sundance Film Festival, and it’s not hard to see why. From the trailer alone, I already love the characters. I laughed more during those 2 minutes than I have for many of today’s comedies (I’m looking at you, Project X). John Hawkes, Helen Hunt and William H. Macy have all earned major accolades from the press for their performances.
 
The Bad – As with Lincoln, it’s the timing of its release to local theaters. The theaters will be packed but not for this. . I hope it can find an audience this weekend.
 
The Ugly – After seeing the trailer, I’m a little bit concerned about William H. Macy’s priest being that interested in his parishioner’s sex life. 
 
The Sessions is rated R for strong sexuality including graphic nudity and frank dialogue.
 
That will do for this week. Stay tuned next time when we eat Pi with a Psycho director in a mental institute. Until then, sparkle, sparkle, sparkle!
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